


like spring love will

by earthlygay



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-22 14:13:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16599425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earthlygay/pseuds/earthlygay
Summary: Famous actress Kim Yongsun was not having a good day, or week, with all the rumors circling her like vultures. A chance encounter with a stranger just might change everything. But with all eyes on her, how difficult and conflicting could their situation be?Can falling in love be just as warm as spring?





	1. what's wrong these days

#  1     

It was bright outside, and unusually chilly.  
  
She opened the gates and cautiously peeked her head out. She has been staying at a friend’s house for a couple of days. She figured she was beginning to get bored living alone, and mostly due to the fact that a group of paparazzi is basically camped outside her apartment building. She just wanted a few days away from the chaos. Just a few.  
  
There were no passersby, not even vehicles. Thinking it might be the only perfect moment she'll get in a while, she slithered out swiftly and closed the doors. She tried to be subtle with her steps, pulled her black hoodie closer to her body and covered half of her face with its hood. It's still one of her most favorite amongst all the pieces of clothing inside her closet; which meant a lot, considering that alongside this piece of rag are clothes from Chanel, Gucci, and the likes.  
  
She thought of how no one would probably ever know this crazily unbelievable fact about her. Everyone knew a different side of Kim Yongsun, and like any other actress in the industry, no one cared enough to take a second look.  
  
She turned left and found a busier street, people walked slowly ahead of her in no hurry to reach their destinations. If anyone decided to look behind them, there’s a great chance that she’ll get recognized. It wouldn't be a problem if it were any other normal day, but 'normal' couldn't be used to describe her days lately. Her heart raced, she has never sneaked out so early as she did today. Busying both her hands with her phone to avoid any eye contact, she lowered her head and walked faster.  
  
Only one or two paparazzi remained, and they looked fairly pre-occupied with keeping themselves warm to actually notice her presence. Her steps became faster, almost sprinting towards the building entrance. She looked more suspicious than she initially planned, but she paid the on-lookers no mind. The glass doors opened before her and she smiled at the lobby receptionist who smiled right back. She would have greeted her if only there weren’t so many people in the area. It was chaotic, someone important must be in the building. She was glad she wasn’t at the center of it.  
  
The elevator dinged beside her and she stepped in, pressed ‘20’, and hoped that no one else would join her. She was quickly disappointed.  
  
She moved and leaned on the wall to look as inconspicuous as possible.  
  
“Have you heard the news,” a young woman asked the other, both probably younger than her. Please don’t be about me, please don’t be about me. “Kim Yongsun is dating a new guy. It hasn’t even been a month since she broke up with her boyfriend.”  
  
With clenched fists, she tried so hard to keep her mouth shut. She’s used to hearing rumors.  
  
“I heard she was caught cheating with an older guy,” the taller woman said. She wanted to correct both of them. She was the one who caught his ‘boyfriend’ cheating, but she didn’t bother telling anyone about it. “What a slut. She should back off from Eric Nam.”  
  
“I heard it was the other way around,” she heard from beside her. She only noticed then that there were four of them inside. The stranger who spoke didn’t look like she was part of the conversation. “I also heard that gossiping is a very tacky thing to do.”  
  
Yongsun wanted to take a closer look at the stranger but the elevator doors opened and the two flustered women hurriedly went out. It was already the 18th floor. She wanted to thank her but thought better of exposing her cover, wondering to herself if the stranger even recognized her at all. Perhaps, she was just a kind person, if those kinds of people still existed. She decided not to judge but was inclined to think that the girl was just annoyed at how noisy the gossipers were.  
  
They ended up stepping out on the same floor. She walked ahead, not taking a risk to look back.  
  
She walked up one last set of stairs to reach the rooftop where was met by a heavy-lidded door. She opened it with maximum effort. The soft breeze of the wind and the 10AM sun welcomed her back. The rooftop was empty, as it has always been. She took her time to walk to her usual spot, the only sheltered part of the rooftop and sat on the floor with her back against the wall of the structure.  
  
She just wanted a minute to breathe before she goes back to her unit.  
  
She took in the scenery around her, making the most of the peace and quiet it gave and released a relieved sigh. She loved it here, the staff knew that and they let her be. The noises below felt distant, although ever-present. In here, she felt closer to the sun, closer to the clouds, closer to the blue sky and the breeze of the wind. It’s her safe haven in the middle of the city.  
  
She was beginning to feel herself relax, she swore that she could almost hear Bach playing in the background. That was until she saw someone on the periphery of her vision.  
  
Standing near the railings far in front of her was the stranger. Her figure was tall and lean, her light brown hair blown by the wind exposed her features. Yongsun thought to herself that she was beautiful, despite the lack of make-up. However, that thought was quickly chased away by the fact that her peace and quiet was now gone.  
  
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, Laudate by Mozart. She doesn’t own the rooftop, after all, she could share. She tried repeating it like a mantra.  
  
She tried. She just couldn’t sit still.  
  
The rollercoaster of emotions from the previous days have caught up on her too suddenly, and now she was furious. She was forced to break up with her so-called “boyfriend”, a relationship staged by her PR team, because media sniffed on him cheating. And now his team were turning the rumors onto her. Men who wanted to date her, now that she was known to be single, surrounded her like predators. At one instance, she had a picture with Eric Nam taken by the paparazzi and suddenly rumors came out that they were apparently ‘dating’ now. She was called a bitch and a slut by an actress who happened to be in a secret relationship with the actor, and demanded that she be removed from the project that they both initially had to be in. The producers chose Yongsun to remain and fired the actress instead. Now, she knew what the new rumors will be. ‘Kim Yongsun, in a relationship with the producer of new drama,’ it might just be the biggest one yet.  
  
She wanted to scream. She just wanted to scream at nothing in particular. Initially, that was the plan. There wasn’t supposed to be a target to her frustration, but now...  
  
“Are you following me,” she stood up and confronted the stranger.  
  
“Excuse me?” The girl faced her, almost looking shocked that she wasn’t alone as well. Yongsun noted that the girl was just a bit taller, probably just by one centimeter.  
  
“Why are you following me?” The stranger looked amused and almost laughing, her smile was just irking her more, Yongsun couldn’t stop her rage, “What do you want? My picture? Autograph? Get it and leave now. Did someone pay you to follow me? I can pay you double just to leave me alone.”  
  
“Okay, just stop right there. First of all, I didn’t even know someone was here,” she sounded apologetic and honest.  
  
Yongsun’s pent-up rage won. “Bullshit. You saw me get out of the elevator.”  
  
“Now, are you sure you’re not the one stalking me?”  
  
She was flustered and it definitely put a crack on her façade, “But you followed me here.”  
  
“No, I went the other way. I didn’t know you were going here because I entered through that door,” she pointed to the door leading to the fire exit. She forgot that one and now she’s just plain embarrassed at herself.  
  
A few heartbeats passed and awkward silence crept up on them. The embarrassment was eating her alive, she bit her lips as she pondered on what to do. “Okay,” she nodded slowly and without any better ideas, she tucked her hands inside the pockets of her jacket and walked quickly to the door. The apology stuck in her throat somewhere along the way.  
  
She ignored the stranger calling behind her, trying to stop her escape. Maybe she’ll ask for a public apology for her rudeness. She can already see the headlines. Her manager will be so pissed at the mess. She heard footsteps behind her, she tried to make longer strides with the same effort and speed so as not to look so guilty of running away but at the same time, actually trying to run away. Taking the stairs voluntarily will never be an option so she headed for the elevator. The doors didn’t open fast enough. In an instant, a looming figure was beside her.  
  
“Please just talk to my manager about whatever you have to say,” she started without even glancing. She had no time to be distracted.  
  
“Okay, sure,” the blonde reluctantly agreed when Yongsun didn’t add anything else.  
  
“I will pay for whatever damage this encounter might have cost you.”  
  
“…okay,” she replied, amused at how the woman was ranting.  
  
She can’t stop talking, yet she can’t begin to apologize at the same time. The stranger got off at the 14th floor and said, “I didn’t think I’d meet you this way. I’ll see you later, Miss Kim Yongsun.”  
  
She hoped not. But if she was sure of one thing at that very moment, it was this very obvious fact: She was definitely in trouble.


	2. to feel like this

#   2     

Kim Yongsun was a confident woman. Not too much to be mistaken as being arrogant and conceited, it rather just showed that she knew perfectly well what she was doing and that she was good at it. The general public adored her. Her most recent movies all did well, and she was now dubbed as one of the most sought-after actresses in the country. Something that wasn’t easy to achieve, coming from a small company with no background of influence in the industry. She basically started from nothing, just her talents and her charms. She was a woman who worked hard to be where she was now.  
  
Being exposed to the business for too long, and at such an early age, made her grew tired and weary too early in the game. She used to handle rumors so well, shook it off and forgot about it in no time at all. But this time was different. She looked jittery as she was sitting inside the private waiting room prepared especially for her. ‘Jittery’ would be an unusual word to describe her. ‘Cold’, ‘stern’, or ‘a bitch’ might be the more common words to use, but never that.  
  
She let her thoughts wander to calm herself down.  
  
That stranger. Looking back at it now, one part of her was sure that she owed this stranger an apology for being just plain stupid and rude.  
  
The other, insane part of her oddly found it unsettling that she didn’t seem fazed by her presence at all. The way the girl smiled and laughed despite Yongsun’s cold treatment towards her was… new. It affected her more than she’d like to admit.  
  
She has been thinking about the woman ever since. She looked familiar but she can’t recall why. She wondered what her reason was for going to the rooftop. Could it be the same as hers? Was she from a celebrity’s personal staff? Lobby staff? That would be unlikely since she was familiar to almost everyone who worked there by now, she would’ve remembered a pretty face.  
  
Stop.  
  
She paused and looked at the clock ticking on the wall.  
  
“This is outrageous,” Yongsun said, distracting herself from too much thinking and instead chose to direct her frustrations at the nearest person available. “We’ve been waiting for almost an hour now. The press conference is just half an hour away and I still haven’t met the new actress.”  
  
“I’ll check up on the crew outside. I’ll make sure that you meet her before the event starts.” Her manager left with an almost scared smile, holding her cell phone and pressing buttons furiously. Yongsun felt sorry, at the same time thankful for the instant peace of having the room empty. She closed her eyes and willed for calmness to come. It did, however short-lived it was. The door opened quietly and a figure entered, tip-toeing her way to where Yongsun was sitting. The next thing she knew, a pair of slender and petite hands were covering both her eyes and a playful laugh sounded behind her.  
  
She was scared for a second. “Guess who,” the moment she heard the woman’s voice, she was laughing along too.  
  
“Jung Wheein!” Who else would be this comfortable with her? As her vision returned, she saw the singer smiling through the mirror in front of them.  
  
“Unnie, I think I ruined your make-up,” the shorter girl moved to her side and attempted to fix some smudges on the actress’ face.  
  
“It’s okay, Wheeinie.” It really was, Yongsun could not give a care about her make-up right now, she was just glad to have a friend by her side.  
  
“I was just in the building for a recording and I heard that you were here so I decided to check up on you.” The younger artist gave her a concerned look, she knew her too well, and she definitely heard of the issues surrounding her name nowadays. It would be futile to lie, so she didn’t. A shaky laugh came out of Yongsun’s lips through her smile.  
  
“I’ll see you later, yeah?”  
  
“I’m glad that you checked up on me today.”  
  
When the room was empty once again, just as it was minutes ago, Yongsun couldn’t shake the thought of how dreadful the feeling was – how different the sudden silence rang in her ears. She didn’t want to be alone. Only a couple of minutes have passed but she couldn’t stay still. She tried closing her eyes again but she couldn’t stop the pounding on her chest, the racing of thoughts in her mind driving her close to crazy. She stood up and walked around the limited enclosed space. She felt like crying but was interrupted, or saved, by the door opening behind her.  
  
She didn’t know what or who she was hoping for to come through the door but this was definitely not it.  
  
It was the stranger, still wearing her hooded jacket above layers of clothing that made her look like she was in a disguise.  
  
“Ya!”  
  
The girl didn’t seem like she was surprised as much. Instead, she was smiling. “I told you I’ll see you again. Why are you so surprised?”  
  
“That’s it! I’ll call the security,” Yongsun was scramming to get her phone, “how did you even get in here?” Her heart was beating tenfold faster than normal, jittery turned to something else, and her face was struggling to look indifferent.  
  
The stranger walked closer to her and swiftly grabbed her phone from behind, “Look, I’m incredibly sorry that I am very, very late, but I swear there’s no need to involve the security team.” Yongsun was flustered and confused, mostly flustered. What is this woman saying? “And if you’re asking how, I went through the back gate, because the front gates were flooded with paparazzi and fans. I had to wear a disguise to get in without causing any more trouble.” As the bewildered brunette tried to catch up on her explanation, she began removing the multiple layers of clothing to reveal a gorgeous black suit ensemble that complemented her slim body and tall stature. Then everything clicked into place.  
  
“You’re – you’re the new actress,” Yongsun said with wide eyes and the sudden understanding of everything that has happened since.  
  
“Moon Byulyi,” the stranger extended her hand which the other reluctantly accepted. Byulyi pulled her closer, then leaned down and kissed the slender hand she was carefully holding. Yongsun thought her lips lingered a few milliseconds longer than normal and it made her blush, “It’s a pleasure to be working with you, Kim Yongsun.”  
  
Their bodies were so close, the room was suddenly too crowded with just the two of them in it. Yongsun was this close to having a breakdown before this woman arrived and now suddenly she felt oddly….different. She couldn’t decide if it was a good or bad thing. Byulyi was smiling at her and she can’t break her gaze away. She was about to say something, whatever stupid thought it was about how her eyes were so beautiful when her manager decided to enter the room with the whole production team on tow.  
  
“Great! You’ve met each other!”  
  
Yongsun backed away from the woman like she was burned, and then tried to look at anywhere but her.  
  
“Yes, we have.” Byul started, turning to the manager, “You know, it’s actually a funny story, yesterday, we – ”  
  
Oh, crap. She almost forgot that part.  
  
In a spur of panic, Yongsun took Byul’s hands, pinched it in warning and pulled her close beside her to keep a safe distance between her and her manager. They both looked far from seeming comfortable.  
  
She continued where she butted it, “ – we! We talked on the phone. And had a quick chat about how excited we were to meet today.” To add to the discomfort of them both, Yongsun hugged her tight to show just how ‘close’ they already were.  
  
Byul was smiling so wide, clearly trying to hold back a laugh, and Yongsun looked like she ate something sour with the way her face was scrunched up. The manager was looking at them oddly, but there was no more time to scrutinize their story because the event was about to begin.

 

* * *

  
  
Yongsun couldn’t stop herself from stealing glances at the tall, younger woman. Whenever their eyes met, she would panic and pretend that she wasn't staring at her, failing miserably at looking innocent.  
  
No one could tell her distress by the way she was readily presenting herself to the flashing cameras and the press. Before she could even break a sweat, they were led to another waiting area as the next part began.  
  
She saw Byulyi standing alone in a corner and decided that it was the perfect chance to talk to her. She did her best to approach her as calmly and unsuspicious as she can, and spoke in the softest voice and a smile in the hope of a pretense that everything was well.  
  
“I know I told you to talk to my manager about whatever issue we had back then, but I take it back.” Smile.  
  
“Hello to you, too,” the girl replied with a genuine one.  
  
“Look,” she turned and faced the girl, suddenly sounding serious, “let’s not make it hard for both of us. We have to work together for months and it might be best to forget about it, right?”  
  
“I agree,” the girl nodded and the older woman let out a sigh of relief, “however, I don’t think I’ve heard an apology from you yet, unnie.”  
  
Her patience was really being tested. She took a deep breath in preparation. How hard could it be? She opened her mouth to say the words, but nothing came out. Byulyi didn’t look like she found it hilarious, a serious look suddenly plastered on her face. “I -”, she tried again but to no avail.  
  
The next thing she knew she was being enwrapped in a hug, she could feel her breathing before she heard her speak, “People are looking and they look like they might misinterpret how our conversation is going right now so I had to do this. Treat me to dinner and it’s forgiven.”  
  
With her mind going haywire, she couldn’t think. She knew this girl was right, they did look like they were about to argue and she couldn’t have that again. The press already had too much ammunition against her. “Okay.”  
  
“Great!” Byulyi let her go now and was smiling at her, face inches away from each other.  
  
“Did you just ask me out on a date?” Yongsun asked, dumbfounded at what just occurred.  
  
“Do you want it to be a date?”  
  
She can barely process what was happening before she could even blink, they were already being called on stage and there was no more time for any response. She had no idea what to say, anyway. Hours went by and Yongsun felt like she was still in a haze. She missed a few questions and had to ask again before she could answer them. She mostly just smiled and nodded along to whatever her co-stars were saying, so when Byulyi mentioned her name, it almost looked like she dropped her heart on the floor. She had to backtrack to what she heard, “Who do you look forward to working with the most?”  
  
“Yongsun-unnie.”  
  
Suddenly, she felt too exposed.  
  
“Although I’m somehow new to the industry, I was able to see her best works and couldn’t help but be inspired. She’s truly a great actress, and I look forward to learning a lot from her.”  
  
When Yongsun glanced towards Byulyi, she gave a bashful smile but her eyes told her differently. Almost like she was teasing her.  
  
The press conference ended and the girl quickly appeared beside her, stealing her away from her team.  
  
“Should we just meet there,” the girl asked her and she was reminded of the deal she agreed on. “Actually, you know what - manager-nim!” The older woman’s manager approached them. “Does Yongsun-unnie have anything else for today? Anything she couldn’t cancel?”  
  
“Well…”  
  
It was a challenge and she knew it. And Kim Yongsun wasn’t one to back down to a challenge.  
  
“Manager, please cancel anything else that I have scheduled for today. I’m going to have dinner with Byulyi right now.”  
  
“O-of course. Should I have your driver assist you or-”  
  
“That’s not necessary. I’ll drive us there. Thank you, manager-nim!”  
  
“You worked hard today, thank you.”  
  
They gave a thankful bow to him and the staff. Before Yongsun could object, they were sprinting away from the chaos that followed them behind, fans who spotted them, and uninvited paparazzi waiting for Yongsun to be alone. She felt Moonbyul holding her hand in the middle of their short chase. She wondered who grabbed it first, but it was her that slowly let her grip loosen when she started thinking too much of it, just as Byulyi opened the car door for her.  
  
They were catching their breath and laughing once they were inside the car with Yongsun on the passenger seat and Byulyi behind the steering wheel.  
  
This girl doesn’t look like she’s a good idea. Yongsun's feelings were too erratic that she couldn’t quite decide between running away from her or running away with her. But at the moment, she sat still and pulled the safety belt in place, the car engine sounding off to a start. The world outside, chaotic and cruel, began to look farther from her. Her breathing began to feel clearer and lighter. She looked ahead and then turned beside her where she found Byulyi already staring at her.  
  
“I like that smile,” a statement said so nonchalantly that somehow took her off guard and made her suddenly too conscious. “You don’t smile often, do you?”  
  
“I do. You just happen to meet me at all the wrong times.”  
  
“Like that time at the rooftop?” Byulyi queried.  
  
“That was the worst possible scenario for someone to meet me.”  
  
“Then let’s pretend I never met you there.”  
  
Yongsun turned her attention outside when Byulyi offered no explanation. The sky was painted orange as the sun began to set. It felt like it has been such a long day and it was not even close to ending yet. They turned to an unfamiliar street, definitely not a place where a fancy restaurant might be.  
  
“This place serves the best homemade kimchi, and a lot of dishes I’m sure you’ll love.”  
  
The car slowed to a stop in front of a quaint restaurant Yongsun has never heard before, the door was small that Yongsun noted she might have to lean down to fit, considering the high heels she was wearing. They parked at a small space in front of the place.  
  
“How do you know what kind of food I could possibly like?”  
  
“Just a feeling.”

 

* * *

  
  
Inside the restaurant, almost all the tables were occupied. She didn’t have to lean down to enter, as per Moonbyul’s suggestions, she exchanged her heels with some slip-on she had always kept in her car. Everyone was too busy with their meals and talking to each other to notice them at all, which was surprising because they really looked incredibly out of place with all the make-up and designer clothing they got on. She wished she got the chance to change into comfortable clothes. The place was simple, almost rural, which made her think of her hometown.  
  
The food was indeed great. Yongsun loved it, but she didn’t want to give Byulyi the bragging rights of being right so she kept it to herself. She didn’t want to show how much she was enjoying the company, too. Byulyi, as she quickly learned, have a strange laugh. She’s told at least five corny jokes, to which Yongsun tried so hard not to laugh too. They were so bad that it’s funny. And she does this thing with her nose when she smiles that’s honestly growing on her.  
  
She wasn’t completely charmed. She just enjoyed the change of pace. She has been mentally reminding herself of these for the last five minutes.  
  
“Unnie,” Byulyi said, suddenly sounding serious, “can I just say, you’re an actress but you don’t have to always pretend. We’re still allowed to have emotions, aren’t we?”  
  
Yongsun kept quiet, but she gave her attention.  
  
“I mean, I can count with my left hand the times you’ve truly smiled today.”  
  
“I’ve smiled plenty during the press conference,” she resumed eating to distract herself. “Are you telling me how to smile, Moon Byulyi?”  
  
“No,” the girl quickly rectified, “I’m just glad I’ve made you smile at least once today.”  
  
Yongsun dropped whatever she’s holding and looked straight into Byulyi’s eyes as if to intimidate her, and that she did, “Wow, you’re getting cocky. What makes you think you did?”  
  
Not being one to easily get intimidated by a stare, the girl did the same and stared right back at her, “You smiled so wide when you took the first bite! Just admit you liked the food, unnie, you’re welcome.”  
  
“Fine,” Yongsun conceded, “but don’t take too much credit, it’s not like you cooked them.”  
  
With that, the girl leaned forward and said with great enthusiasm, “I can cook you even better food than this, you’ll see.” Was that an invitation? What even are they doing, bantering like they didn’t just meet, officially, today?  
  
“Oh, I’ll be the judge to that.” Yongsun grabbed her utensils and resumed eating her meal, unaware of the smile stupidly plastered on her face still and the girl in front of her admiring her silently.  
  
“You’re seriously pretty.”  
  
Yongsun almost choked on her food. Byulyi was laughing her infectious laugh and soon she was laughing along too. “Saying that out of nowhere, what the…”  
  
“There, now I can count with my two hands.”  
  
The drive back to their building was quicker than they both hoped. Yongsun didn’t think she’d actually time it. It wasn’t like she’s looking forward to getting home, quite the opposite, actually.  
  
It was an oddly pleasant coincidence that they were living in the same apartment building. Although, if she were to think about it harder, it wasn't much of a coincidence really. It's one of the best high-end apartments in the area, she knew a couple of actors staying in the same building as well. She'd easily recommend it to a friend, which is probably how Byulyi found it in the first place.  
  
“Say, Byulyi,” the older girl called her attention, filling the silence of the elevator ride, “did you know that it was me in the elevator?”  
  
“Oh, you mean when I defended your honor?” Byulyi playfully replied, to which Yongsun snickered. The change in the atmosphere was sudden when the girl replied in all seriousness, “No, honestly. I just hate gossips. I wish you didn’t have to hear that.”  
  
She looked at her then, Byulyi being slightly in front of her, closer to the door even if it's Yonsun who will leave first. “It’s fine. I’ll hear those at some point anyway.”  
  
“Still, it doesn’t make it right for everyone to talk like that about anyone.”  
  
She couldn't think of a response to that. The elevator dinged and the doors opened, it's her floor. They wished each other a good night. Her cheeks were burning and her chest felt like it could burst at any moment but she doesn't know why.  
  
“I'll see you around, unnie,” the taller girl smiled.  
  
She stepped out of the enclosed space with a suffocating feeling.  
  
It was a nice day. A great day, if she actually let herself admit it.

 


	3. like falling leaves

#   3     

The premise of the plot was simple. And quite frankly, might sound incredibly cliché at first.  
  
Two girls falling in love with the same guy, who falls in love with neither of the two. They are three childhood friends, all enrolled in the same university in college, afraid of leaving the safe, boring town that they have lived in since they were born. Nothing spectacular at first glance. Except in this story, the guy, who had no romantic interest on the two despite them both being incredibly attractive, will fall in love with another guy. And there begin the complexity of the romantic comedy-drama which already had a handful amount of supporters even before it began its production.  
  
Yongsun loved the representation it will bring to the community.  
  
The story will focus on the main character’s struggle to discovering and accepting his sexuality. The actor who had the main role was an acquaintance. He was an avid supporter of the community as well, and already had a couple of rumors regarding his sexuality but none that he cared to confirm nor deny.  
  
The completed draft of the script that they were initially provided was roughly finished. Minor changes in the script were constantly delivered to them a day prior to shooting but she didn’t mind. Her character had a solid background story and personality that she was able to latch onto.  
  
In the story, the dynamics of the trio had already been uneven and shaky from the start. The initial close friendship of the two girls was challenged by the addition of the guy into the group. As the other girl fell for the guy, Yongsun’s character struggled to find her place and questioned her own feelings for her two friends.  
  
The replacement of the actress to play the last piece of the trio somehow tipped her balance off somehow. Moon Byulyi. She was, as Yongsun only recently learned, the daughter of a respectable director and a rich businesswoman. Byulyi and her family had been quietly living their lives away from the limelight, until a couple of years ago that she decided to study arts and later on join the industry. Since then, she had been playing minor roles when given the chance.  
  
All these she learned from Byulyi herself during their dinner days ago.  
  
She landed her first big role in with this new drama, but her fans have been quickly and steadily growing for months.  
  
The character that Byulyi had to portray was an easy going girl who was outspoken of her feelings, and basically the complete opposite of Yongsun’s.  
  
Funny how she thought it fit them both perfectly.

 

* * *

  
  
Everyone’s attention was caught by the production staff, as the next scene was about to begin. Yongsun walked towards the center with Byulyi just a few steps behind.  
  
She wasn’t nervous, she knew how the scene should progress, had memorized the script perfectly, and yet, her hands were sweating.  
  
She was already in character.  
  
She had been so the very moment she stepped in front of the lights and the camera.  
  
The film began rolling.  
  
This one was easy, only a couple of lines, but more on expressions and reactions.  
  
She sat first on the park’s empty swing.  
  
Byulyi arrived and sat on the one next to hers, a giddy smile on her face.  
Yongsun projected the coldness of her character, and when they both became too aware of the distance between them with each passing second, the younger girl finally spoke.  
  
“I’m in love with Jeonghoon,” the girl delivered it just as how Yongsun imagined it; a nervous smile from Byulyi, and a surprised look from her.  
  
She gave it a few seconds to sink in before she put her feet on the ground, effectively stopping her movements.  
  
“Have – have you told him?” She turned her face to Byulyi, who looked so love-struck that her heart actually ached for her character.  
  
The younger girl stood up from the swing and paced a few times in front of her, kicked a stone away, and faced her. “Not yet. But I think I’ll tell him today.”  
  
Too soon, Yongsun thought, not yet. She fiddled on the hem of the skirt. They looked convincingly younger. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too soon?”  
  
“Really? Do you think I should wait?”  
  
“I don’t know, but I mean, why do you even have to tell me this?”  
  
“Because you’re my best friend.”  
  
“It’s not like I can stop you, right? You always act on what you feel ever since we were young. I’ve always been jealous of you for that. ”  
  
“Do you like him too, Nari?”  
  
She paused. This wasn’t in the script, so the look of surprise on her face came with no difficulty at all.  
  
Yongsun smiled, stood from the swing, and faced her with foolish bravery.  
  
“Idiot. It doesn’t matter who I like. You’re my best friend. And I think you of all people deserve to be happy. Shout your confession in front of their house for all I care. Just know that if it ends in heartbreak, I’ll be there waiting to hold your hand, wipe the tears, and eat ice cream with you.” Her eyes were glistening from the rambling, acting like a girl who was caging her heart away and trying her best to look happy.  
  
“Jeez, you’re too sappy,” Byulyi joked and they both laughed. “Thank you.”  
  
A few silence later and the scene ended, both of them earning praises from the director. The writer thought that it was a better version than the original script. A few more retakes with different angles and they were done for the day.

 

* * *

  
  
Byulyi looked oddly distant as they went their separate ways. Perhaps Yongsun misread the progress of their friendship. It had only been a few days since they began shooting, but even with their busy schedules, Byulyi always sought her out after takes and chatted with her about the most random things. She would offer her food whenever she looked tired, and always had an extra cup of coffee in the mornings. The coincidence of it being her favorite one was not unnoticed.  
  
She found it charming, and she was getting so used to it already.  
  
Without thinking too much, she found herself walking in the opposite direction of where her car was.  
  
“Hey, what’s with the sudden change of script,” Yongsun playfully asked when she caught up on her, who was also on her way to her own car before the whole crew could pack up.  
  
The younger girl turned around and looked apologetic already, “Ah, unnie. I’m sorry. I know I should have consulted it with you first. Honestly, it’s impulse like how my character would’ve handled the situation. It just came out before I could help it.”  
  
“It’s fine. Besides, it went better that way.” The girl still looked agitated, so Yongsun continued, “You did great today. I like working with good actresses like you.”  
  
I like working with you, was what she initially thought to say, but scratched it quickly from her mind.  
  
In an instant, the smile that Yongsun missed was back. Byulyi was blushing, and she can’t help but smile too. This was the perfect chance to be forward.  
  
“Look, the production team talked to me earlier.” I am a good actress, Yongsun reminded herself, “The next days will be scenes during the early days of our friendship. They suggested that we… bond more,” breathe in, breathe out, “or something. To make a more believable tandem. What do you think?”  
  
Byulyi looked at her inquisitively, almost doubting her, but her credibility in acting was invincible when seen first hand – a skill she had honed well through the years alongside her on-screen acting and something she was truly proud of. An extremely useful one. The unsuspecting girl nodded along but remained quiet. Yongsun was nearing her last ounce of confidence. What is this, this is the time when she’s supposed to invite me somewhere, Yongsun wondered, what’s holding her back? Then the thought occurred to her that perhaps the girl already had an earlier appointment elsewhere.  
  
“It doesn’t have to be right now! If you’re busy, which you looked like you are.” She felt like she was talking to herself, now that Byulyi’s mind looked like it already left the premises. “You were about to go somewhere, right, because it looked like you were in a hurry to leave,” she blabbered on, just to not let the conversation end.  
  
It took a couple of seconds before Byul could form words and make audible sounds of response, “Well, um - “  
  
Despite the compliment that Yongsun just gave her with her acting seconds ago, the fact remained that Byulyi was an awful liar off-screen. “You don’t have to tell me the specifics. I mean, it’s none of my business, right?” She clarified, embarrassed at sounding too concerned and nosy.  
  
“No,” the girl quickly corrected her, “it’s nothing, unnie. I was just about to meet an old friend… and,” then she had that far off look again. At that moment, Yongsun completely understood, so she didn’t pry.  
  
“Ah, you must have been looking forward to that. It’s fine, though. How does tomorrow sounds?”  
  
“Perfect.”  
  
“Are you sure you don’t need to ask your manager for that?”  
  
“Everything’s already cancelled,” Byulyi smirked, “as you said, it’s for the sake of the show and it’s my topmost priority right now.”  
  
“Right,” the brunette agreed, “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” the younger girl turned with a smile. Yongsun just watched her walk towards the waiting car when the girl stopped and hurriedly sprinted back towards her, she thought she must’ve forgotten something on the set. However, Byulyi stopped right in front of her and leaned down to whisper in her ear.  
  
“Is this another date,” just when Yongsun thought she’d be able to go home and get some peaceful sleep, this girl managed to catch her off guard again. The taller girl was obviously amused and satisfied at her reaction, or lack thereof. “Because I need to know if I have to look good for my date.”  
  
The mental image made her nervous, “No, no, it’s –,” she stuttered and failed miserably at forming coherent words at that moment, “it’s purely a professional and casual… bonding… date. Please be in casual and comfortable clothes. We don’t want to get too much attention.”  
  
“Well, that’s going to be difficult. You’ll have to cover your face the whole time, unnie.”  
  
“Okay, listen,” Yongsun just downright gave up, grabbed both of Byulyi’s arms and began slowly nudging her to the waiting car, ”you... are going to be late!” She opened the door of the van and motioned for the amused girl to get in.

 

* * *

  
  
It wasn’t until hours later when Yongsun was sprawled on her bed and ready to take a nap at the comfort of her own home when she remembered a very important detail.  
  
She had no clue of how to contact her.  
  
Yongsun all too fast got up on the bed and then wondered if she could get a concussion from it because of how dizzy she got.  
  
Her mind tried all possible ways for a solution. She immediately called her manager, who then called Byulyi’s manager. After a long time of having her call put on hold, the call unsatisfyingly ended with Yongsun extremely exasperated. Why would a celebrity not give her personal number even to her own manager? But then she imagined Byulyi’s most probable answer, "because then you would give them the power to call you incessantly at their own leisure and ultimately lose your freedom." She understood the point and would have done the same if only she thought of it six years ago before she made the grave mistake of giving it. If her own manager didn’t have it, any other crew member, even their director probably don’t.  
  
Which left her to her next and only plausible option, find her apartment unit in the 14th floor. Surely, the friendly lobby receptionist can help her.  
  
The phone rang once and a woman with husky voice immediately answered.  
  
“Hyejin-ah, I need a favor.”  
  
“Oh, unnie! What’s up?”  
  
“I need to know which unit Moon Byulyi lives in.”  
  
“Unnie….” The girl sounded reluctant, of course, it’s against their rules to disclose such information. She needed to step up her game.  
  
“I heard Jung Wheein’s going to release a new album soon.” Good thing she knew her weakness.  
  
“Go on, I’m listening.”  
  
“A signed album, how about that?”  
  
The girl on the other end pretended to think hard about it, a true merchant who knows how to get the most out of any deal. “I don’t know, I could easily buy my own copy of that, you know.”  
  
“Fine,” she knew she wouldn’t get it so easily, “a dinner with Jung Whee-in herself.”  
  
“Unit 14-B,” the young girl answered so fast. “Moon Byulyi lives in unit 14-B.”  
  
“But you can’t act like a crazy fangirl the whole time, okay?” I’m sorry Wheein. I’m sure you’d do the same when presented with the same situation.  
  
Hyejin agreed and ended the call with a steady screech of happiness. It was almost midnight, she wondered why Yongsun-unnie could possibly be needing to know that at such hours. Hyejin wondered if she should have informed her that it’s not the best idea to pay Miss Moon a visit at that very moment, given the fact that she just arrived a few minutes ago with a gorgeous woman, and even specifically asked to not be bothered until tomorrow.  
  
“Nah,” she quickly dismissed the idea.  
  
Yongsun felt unprepared, she had no time to rehearse what she was about to say and improvisation was admittedly not her strongest suit at times. She knocked on the door with 14-B on it.  
  
Byulyi’s an artist like her, surely she’s familiar with insomnia.  
  
Her knock was answered by an unfamiliar voice. A woman. Who was definitely not Byulyi.  
  
Yongsun looked at the clock on her phone which read: 12:35 AM.  
  
She cursed at herself silently. Who in their right mind would visit anyone at such ungodly hours?  
  
The door opened slightly, the safety chain still hooked. It closed quickly before she could say anything, heard metals clinking, and once again opened now much wider, behind it was a woman with disheveled hair and gorgeous face.  
  
She doesn’t look very happy at the intrusion. Well, Yongsun wasn’t too happy to see her either.  
  
“Yes?” the woman asked, painfully obvious that she’s annoyed. Did Hyejin made a mistake and gave her the wrong place? “Oh, I know you. Kim Yongsun.... that actress Byulyi kept talking about all night.” Despite recognizing her, her demeanor didn’t change at all.  
  
“Right,” this was definitely a bad idea, “I just wanted to tell Byulyi that I have to cancel on our… date… tomorrow.” That got her a reaction from the woman, Yongsun was somehow satisfied, giving emphasis that they had a date planned.   
  
This idea was incredibly stupid. She considered just sprinting away and pretend that it never happened if ever Byulyi brings it up, that is until she heard another voice, one that definitely belonged to Byulyi, faintly in the background.  
  
“Who is it, Soo-jung?”  
  
Her voice was rough and husky. She heard the shower stop, and her name being mentioned somewhere within the hushed conversation behind the door. All the while, Yongsun’s imagination had already gone to places they shouldn’t be in.  
  
She felt extremely anxious, a heavy weight on her stomach, and in a moment of panic excused herself and bolted for the stairs.  
  
“Shit.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment what you think!!! aaaaaaa


	4. don't let winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: just a short backstory  
> and about what really happened from moonbyul's side
> 
> leave any comment good or bad i'll take what i can get lol  
> if you're reading this, thank you!!!

# 4

“Ya, Moon Byulyi, you could at least pretend that you’re trying to look excited to see me.”  
  
She considered how she appeared for a moment: a frustrated look on her face, her fingers tapping along to the stomping of her feet, constantly glancing on her wristwatch. She agreed. She looked incredibly anxious and impatient because all the while, she couldn’t stop thinking of the other places she ought to be in other than here. Like how she could have been with a certain brunette with the laugh of a dolphin, instead.  
  
She focused on the present, stood up from her seat, and flashed a smile at the woman who just arrived.  
  
“I am,” Byulyi said, “this is me trying my best to look excited.”  
  
“Oh, please. I know you’re squealing like a kid deep inside,” the woman teased, which Byulyi didn’t bother to deny. “I’m happy to see you, too.”  
  
They skipped the hugs or the handshakes. Their situation was too tense and awkward for that, the initial attempt at pretending that everything was dandy fine didn’t help either.  
  
Which proved the point that Byulyi was suddenly beginning to believe in: exes can’t go back to being friends.  
  
Both girls took their seats, neither saying a thing. The restaurant was elegant and undoubtedly expensive. It wasn’t too crowded but almost all the tables were occupied, save for the ones surrounding theirs. Byulyi didn’t even think of questioning it. She wouldn’t be too surprised if the woman in front of her told her that she specifically asked the owner to arrange it that way.  
  
Jung Soo-jung has that much influence. She could have the whole world at her fingertips, and yet…  
  
“I missed you.”  
  
It was too forward, even for her, and it came as a surprise that it would come so easily from the woman in front of her.  
  
Of course, she missed her too. But saying it out loud would be far too dangerous.  
  
“Krys, please don’t.” Byulyi evaded her glances, the sting of old nicknames and how easily it rolled off her tongue appeared so painfully obvious in her features.  
  
“Why? Why can’t I say it?”  
  
“Because it’s already been a year, and I’m fine now. I’m sure you are, too.”  
  
“You don’t know that.”  
  
“Exactly. Because you made it that way, Soo-jung. You left me, remember that? And then you left for California with no goodbyes, no possible way for me to even contact you. You were gone and it's as if you expected me to live like you never existed… just that easy.”  
  
Her voice sounded strained, her features looked exhausted and weary. She occupied her hands with the creases of the table fabric. There was no anger in her voice, simply resignation. She had been yearning for this conversation for such a long time that when it actually came, she realized that there was nothing more left to say. Nothing that they could give each other to make up for the days of unexplainable crying and long sleepless nights. Nothing they haven’t already screamed to the void and have the oblivion scream back: Here’s silence, you don’t deserve an explanation.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Byulyi didn’t bother to look, but the voice was shaky and hushed. Still, she heard the words clear as day, “I didn’t mean this… you know what happened, right? Why it had to be this way?”  
  
“Sure,” she knew it was out of their control but the pain was clinging so stubbornly, it was too hard to shake off, “but knowing and understanding were two completely different things back then.”  
  
“Can you forgive me, Byulyi?”  
  
They were the best of friends first. Then lines became too blurry and before they knew it, they were already both madly in love with each other.  
  
She never had to ask. In the end, Byulyi realized that she never truly blamed her. It wasn't her fault that she was born in a family that asked too much of her yet gave her too little room to breathe. It wasn't her fault that her father was too narrow-minded to even grasp the idea of allowing his own daughter happiness and love. It wasn't her fault that she fell in love with her best friend, who happened to be a girl, at such a young age, too young to have the means to be independent of her the family that could never support her for who she was.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
There was a moment of quiet that stretched for minutes, it left them with their own thoughts to process what had just occurred. It felt right, it felt freeing. They smiled at each other, and it just made one simple fact clear, she missed her best friend.  
  
The food arrived at the perfect moment, giving them both the safety of understandable silence. That is until Byulyi noticed Soo-jung downing her wine like water and calling the waiter’s attention for more.  
  
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”  
  
“It’s cute when you worry.” Soo-jung bashfully replied, sipping some more of her newly filled glass of red wine. “It’s fine. I’m not like I was before.”  
  
Byulyi smiled fondly at the memories of drunk Soo-jung making a fool of herself in every party they went to. “I noticed. You lost the bodyguards and all that too. I’m surprised.”  
  
“Oh, they’re definitely still here. They just learned to camouflage better with the crowd. One at the bar, and another at the table near the restroom door.”  
  
Byulyi searched for them and they were indeed there. “Probably to make sure that you don’t escape through the toilet vents, right?”  
  
They laughed at the absurdity of it all, and it felt like old times. Maybe they could make this work, being friends again, that is.  
  
“Are you sure it’s alright to meet with me like this?” Byulyi wondered, knowing full well that all of the woman’s actions were still being monitored by her father.  
  
Soo-jung paused for a moment and gathered herself before she spoke, “My father’s not well. He’s been in a hospital bed for a month now and he – he’s very weak. I’m sure there are better things for him to focus his energy on right now.”  
  
“I’m sorry to hear that.”  
  
“It’s fine. It’s not your fault, although we were probably the cause of a few strands of gray hair back then.”  
  
She let out a chuckle. Soo-jung does this when she doesn’t want to dwell on her sadness. Byulyi would always let her get away with it.

 

* * *

  
  
Later on, they moved to the bar side. Their evening went by with stories of common friends and catching up on their current lives, carefully evading anything of the past. It was just like how Byulyi remembered their friendship, except this time they were collected and silently wary of any unintended touches that would linger far longer than it should. Byulyi stopped drinking halfway through the night despite the other girl’s strong objections.  
  
“Oh, I know!” The woman, who was already so obviously drunk, exclaimed with excitement like the cure for cancer just dawned on her at that very moment. “How about I stay at your place for the night! It’ll be like those sleepovers we used to do!”  
  
Byulyi was very reluctant at the idea. The reason she even considered the suggestion seriously for a moment was beyond her. Their most recent sleepovers were, what the red-haired woman seemed to have forgotten when they were still a couple. In fact, a very touchy couple at that. Remembering them gave Byulyi a very deep blush and a weird feeling below.  
  
Soo-jung could be very convincing and persistent once she had set her mind to something, hence why Byulyi ended up agreeing to their meeting in the first place. She weighed her options. She did want to go home and rest, and she felt sober already.  
  
What could possibly go wrong? So she eventually agreed.  
  
As soon as they stepped inside Byulyi’s unit, the other girl immediately found herself being magnetized to where the bed was. Soo-jung allowed herself to be engulfed by the comfort of pillows and blankets, in a moment she was already fast asleep. Byulyi mentally patted herself for a job well done, finally achieving peace and quiet with no effort at all.  
  
They asked not to be disturbed if anyone called or visited unless it was important. All hell could break loose if a drunk Soo-jung were to be woken up for no good reason. Byulyi didn’t want to take chances.  
  
It was already a couple of minutes past midnight, but Byulyi took the chance and decided to take a hot shower.  
  
She was almost done when she heard loud knocks on the door, followed by faint voices outside. She hurriedly dried and covered herself, and then got out of the bathroom with basically just a towel on. She saw that Soo-jung was already talking to whoever it was outside.  
  
“Who is it, Soo-jung,” she tried asking.  
  
The woman left the door ajar and faced her. “Just some woman,” she said, frustration on her face most probably from being woken up, “what’s her name,” the girl thought hard to remember as she laid herself back on the bed, “Yong… Yongsun?”  
  
Byulyi perked up at the mention of the name and immediately went for the door.  
  
“Unnie?”  
  
No one was there by the time she got to it.  
  
Shit.

 

* * *

  
  
She called the lobby for assistance and asked if they could give her any contact information of Yongsun, but simply said that they were not allowed to do so.  
  
She had no idea why she was panicking. Why did Yongsun drop by and then suddenly just leave?  
  
It must have been her alcohol-induced mind, as she would later blame, that made her come up with such a rash decision. She quickly dressed in the comfiest clothes she could find, grabbed her keys and her phone and just shoved it all in her pocket. She filled a glass with water, found some pain relievers, and placed it all on the bedside table. All the commotion annoyed the girl on the bed.  
  
“Where are you going,” she lazily asked, her voice hoarse, then turned to the bedside clock blinking 12:52 AM and then plopped down again on her sides, “come back to bed, Byulyi.” Soo-jung moved slightly and patted the empty space next to her, coaxing the girl to stay. The sight tugged at her chest. It was all too familiar. There could have easily been one moment where this had happened before, except with a lot fewer clothes on and between two same bodies but completely different versions of them. A whole year apart.  
  
“I need to go, it’s important,” she walked closer, sat on the empty space, and whispered to the girl who already had her eyes closed, she wondered if she would even remember this tomorrow but still continued, “When you wake up tomorrow and I’m not here, just help yourself with whatever’s available. You’ll be alright.”  
  
She leaned down and kissed the sleeping girl on the forehead.  
  
“And I missed you, too,” she whispered wistfully.  
  
When the figure remained silent and unmoving, Byulyi slowly got up and walked away without looking back.  
  
The sound of the door closing resonated around the room.  
  
It was only then that Soo-jung allowed herself to move. She slowly sat up straight on the bed and stared at the ceiling. There wasn't a day that she didn't regret leaving.  
  
She tried hard to ignore the fact that the girl had moved out from their once shared apartment. Or that she couldn't find any semblance of her in here at all; no picture, no clothes that once belonged to her, no gift she gave for an anniversary. All probably thrown away already.  
  
She didn't think even after a year that it would still hurt this much.  
  
Tears flooded her eyes but she didn't bother wiping them away anymore.  
  
Sleep arrived too slowly as she hopelessly waited, wishing for Byulyi to come back.

 


	5. see my empty heart

# 5

Yongsun Kim has an older sister. An older, prettier sister as most would claim. It’s truthfully fine with her, as she’s not crazy about being the prettiest anyway. She’s born in a fairly rich family, her mother a doctor and her father a professor. She was not spoiled by her family, nor did she grew up with a constant yearning for love or attention. She knew how to appreciate what she has. In all her previous relationships, serious and not, she was never possessive. She has never been intimidated by another woman.  
  
In conclusion, Yongsun would like to believe that she was not a jealous person. At all.  
  
“I am not jealous.”  
  
Imagine her surprise when she found out that a feeling she dared deny to be called jealousy had obviously begun to form somewhere inside her guts.  
  
“I don’t have the capacity to be jealous.”  
  
The moment she arrived back at her unit, she had resorted to attempting sleep. She had been failing miserably for forty-five minutes. In annoyance, she covered her face with her pillow and let her loudest scream be muffled. It was 'rinse and repeat' until she felt slightly better.  
  
She rolled out of the queen-sized bed and dragged her feet to the kitchen. After choosing two cans of beer over red wine, she plopped herself comfortably on the sofa and wrapped herself in a thick black blanket. This much should be fine, she thought, just right to easily bring in sleep.  
  
She decided to catch up on her favorite reality show as she drank.  
  
“An old friend, huh,” she muttered to herself as she angrily opened her second can of beer. “Why do I even care who she spends her night with,” she continued to ramble after every sip, “I am not jealous,” she repeated and then resumed downing the can until it was almost empty, “to be jealous would mean,” she stood up and headed to the kitchen to look for something to go along with the drink, perhaps another can, “that I –“  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted when the doorbell rang. She went to look at the screen nonchalantly, as she would have at any other reasonable hour, except it was currently 2:06 AM, a fact that she was so painfully aware of yet meant so little to her unconscious decisions. Time was inconsequential. As an actress, her day would often begin as soon as her alarm rang, and would end when her back hit a soft surface, preferably a bed, but not always. Sometimes it would be a couch, or a chair, or a wall. Her career demanded a lot from her, but she believed that every job has its own occupational hazard so she lives with it.  
  
Oddly enough, it seemed as if there was another person who had no regards to time whatsoever.  
  
To be jealous would mean…  
  
“…that I like her.”  
  
Byulyi.  
  
Moon Byulyi was standing in front of her door, wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized white hoodie, holding a box of pizza on her right hand. Her hair was a mess tied on a loose bun that still looked damp. Yongsun felt another wave of aching in her chest.  
  
She took a second look at the screen just to make sure that it was real. She wouldn’t be too surprised if it wasn’t. This time, the screen was empty and there was no one outside.  
  
She released a relieved (disappointed) sigh and laughed.  
  
"Ah, seriously, Yongsun," she said to herself.  
  
When she accidentally glanced at it again during her unreasonable fit of giggles, she saw the tall girl walking towards the door again, now holding a single white daisy on her left hand. She widened her eyes and pressed her face closer to the screen to be a hundred percent sure this time. Byulyi seemed to be second-guessing herself and kept looking at the flower on her hands.  
  
Yongsun can’t help her smile.  
  
Byulyi was about to leave from the camera view again, probably to return the flower to wherever she got it, so Yongsun opened the door, effectively stopping her from moving.  
  
The girl turned at the sound and warily approached, still deciding on what to do with the flower on her left hand she was now hiding behind her.

 

* * *

  
  
Just behind the door stood Yongsun wrapped in a thick blanket with no make-up on, her hair slightly ruffled like she just got out of bed, and yet Byulyi couldn’t take her eyes away.  
  
“Did I wake you up?” Byulyi was smiling as she walked up the last steps of distance between them, savoring her time to take it all in as if she was admiring the view ahead. Perhaps she was. The taller girl wondered if she crossed a line, but the thought left her just as quick as it arrived once she saw the woman already smiling back.  
  
“No,” it was almost a whisper, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”  
  
“Why is that?” Byulyi stepped closer to hear her better.  
  
A moment passed with Yongsun wondering how honest she ought to be and still be able to get away with it, “I was up thinking of how stupid it was to visit someone in the middle of the night. Really stupid.”  
  
“Well, that’s nothing. Imagine going to someone’s place two hours past midnight just so you could see this cute girl and tell her it’s not what she thinks it is, it’s just a friend staying over for the night.”  
  
Yongsun blamed the two cans of beer she had just downed for the blush on her cheeks and the warmth that was slowly creeping on her whole body. “That does sound incredibly stupid,” desperately trying to ignore the fact that Byulyi basically called her cute. Like she has not been constantly praised for her beauty. No, those didn’t matter at all. If Byulyi hailed her cute, then Yongsun shall die living up to be the cutest she can be. Screw gorgeous and sexy.  
  
“Right?” They were both looking at the ground, afraid to look at each other and risk exposing feelings. Something 2am talks were known for. “I brought pizza. Also, I thought that well, it's already technically tomorrow, you know, for our ‘not a date’ date… and I’m wearing my comfiest clothes, so…”  
  
Yongsun looked at her exquisitely and nodded, “Do you want to go inside?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“I’ll take that,” Yongsun took the box of pizza and it left Byulyi with the sole weight of the flower she was still trying to hide behind her.  
  
“Something wrong with your left hand?”  
  
Byulyi just wanted to disappear, a predicament she had brought herself for even thinking it was a good idea to bring a flower and not make it look romantic. Panic sunk in, “Oh, um, no. My back is itchy,” she said as she proceeded to enact scratching her back with her hand.  
  
Yongsun tried incredibly hard to not laugh, it was amusing to see her struggle. She went inside and signaled Byulyi to come in, placed the box of pizza in the living room and quickly removed the fake flowers in the white vase beside her before Byulyi could see.  
  
“Your place is really nice.” It didn’t sound like small talk, the look of awe was evident on her face as she really took in her surroundings. Yongsun thanked her on her way to get some more beer, which Byulyi agreed with, to go with the pizza. She took pride in the compliment, she designed the interiors after all.  
  
The girl then moved to stand in front of a painting on a small corner of the room. She didn’t think she’d notice that one first.  
  
“You look like you’re into art,” Yongsun observed, now that they’re sat on opposite ends of the sofa, which is not that long as their legs are almost entangled.  
  
“I was studying photography before I decided to go for this project. I’ve always wanted to be a photographer. Or a dancer. Or both.” Byulyi drank her beer and smiled fondly at the thought.  
  
“Oh, I’d like to see that,” Yongsun teased her.  
  
“Which one?”  
  
“Both. At the same time. Like you’re dancing while taking pictures,” she laughed at the mental image. “You could create a whole new genre of dance, or method of photography. Can you imagine…. there’s a whole world of possibilities out there….”  
  
Byulyi laughed along, finding the ramblings of a drunk Yongsun much more hilarious than normal. “How about you, any plans?”  
  
“Definitely, but I’m still undecided on what to do exactly. I just know that I want to.”  
  
“You look like you’d be a good lawyer,” Yongsun raised her eyebrow at that, waiting for the girl’s explanation, “You look very… intimidating. I get goosebumps just by looking at you sometimes, my heart rate would speed up and I feel like I’d definitely plead guilty to whatever you’re accusing me just like that. I mean, that would be very useful for a lawyer, I’m just saying.”  
  
Yongsun was laughing, she’d never once considered that. “I think it would be fun to direct films one day.”  
  
“Oh, that would nice,” Byulyi nodded as she quietly replied, “I’d like to see that.”  
  
Hours went on with the two talking and laughing, the tv screen forgotten in the background. It was on their third drink that they remembered their goal.  
  
“This is something that our characters would do, right?” Yongsun said as she stretched out her legs over to Byulyi’s lap, “Grab a drink, have some pizza, talk about their dreams.”  
  
Byulyi nodded, her mind preoccupied with how comfortable being next to her body’s warmth felt like.  
  
The exhaustion of the day had finally caught up on them, now both tipsy at the amount of alcohol consumed. They don’t remember who fell asleep first, but sometime along the night bodies moved closer to each other like magnets fitting perfectly in place.

 

* * *

  
  
Yongsun woke disoriented and extremely thirsty. While her eyes remained closed, she wondered why she felt her body aching all over despite being in such a comfortable position. She tried moving around but couldn’t. Then, she felt the arm wrapped around her waist and her legs draped all over another person.  
  
Her eyes opened wide in an instant the moment she remembered Byulyi, who appeared to be still deeply asleep underneath her.  
  
She craned her neck slowly to look at their situation, she was basically laid on top of the tall girl, her right arm draped over Byulyi’s chest and the rest of her body entangled with hers. It was a fairly compromising position and she tried hard to think of a way to remove herself without waking her. The hold on her was strong.  
  
Yongsun thought Byulyi looked so peaceful in her sleep, it’d be a crime to even wake her. And so she gave up trying.  
  
She closed her eyes to block out the brightness of the room, burying her head deeper in the crook of the girl’s neck. Byulyi let out a soft hum, stirred slightly from the commotion, and pulled her closer.  
  
It was too early to think too much, Yongsun reasoned with herself, and she was far too sleepy to even bother pushing herself away.  
  
Sleep came back easily, with the last thought on her mind how a single white daisy in a small white vase, on top of the corner table, looked so beautiful with the morning light.

 


	6. i lived like a fool

# 6

“So, you slept together?”   
  
“Yes,” Yongsun fixed the heavily tinted sunglasses on the bridge of her nose as she covered her face with her hand, slightly massaging her headache away at the same time, “wipe that grin off your face, you rascal. I told you, we literally just slept.”   
  
The restaurant was exceptionally crowded, probably because it was lunchtime. People in business suits and dresses occupied the tables, and some were obviously glancing towards their direction every now and then.   
  
Her best guess was because she; with her sunglasses on, dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants and sweatshirt, brown hair flowing freely down her shoulders, looked incredibly out of place. It was the best she could come up with given her current state.    
  
“And then what happened?” her friend inquired, urging her to continue. Wheein, unlike her, fit right in with her chic clothes and short blonde hair, looking like a proper celebrity.   
  
“Then I called you and told her that you invited me to lunch.”   
  
“Basically, you panicked and lied,” she replied and continued eating her expensive meal, making the most of Yongsun's promise of paying to make up for dragging her into whatever shit the woman got herself into.     
  
Yongsun had been absentmindedly stirring the same cup of coffee since they arrived, not even bothering to order any actual food. Wheein has never seen her like this before and it made her worry. Probably because Yongsun doesn’t experience hungover, like ever, simply because she never drink enough to have one.   
  
A figure walking towards their table on her right caught her attention. “Don’t panic but the chairman’s daughter is walking towards us. Try your best to smile and all that.”   
  
“Who?” before Yongsun could even process what was happening, Wheein had already stood up from her seat and was now hugging a woman wearing an expensive looking coat over a black dress that mapped out her figure perfectly. They greeted each other and the woman was now facing Yongsun, which left her no choice but to stand up, as fast as she could without making herself dizzy again, and offered her hand out. “I don’t think we’ve met before, I’m Kim Yongsun.”   
  
She shook her hand with a smile, “We actually have. Last night, if you’ll recall. I’m Jung Soo-jung.”   
  
It registered to her just then.    
  
“I’m glad to see that you’re back from California, unnie.”   
  
She was oddly beginning to feel sober. Soo-jung. Too sober that she could feel the blood leaving her body at the fastest pace, wondering if it’s normal for any hungover person.   
  
“I got some business to attend to. Also, I heard that my ex was back in the city. I intend to fix things between us,” the woman looked at Yongsun and it was at that moment that she knew.   
  
Yongsun didn’t know what to feel, but she was beginning to look pale and queasy. She took a deep breath and silently hoped that the sunglasses were able to mask her struggle to stay collected.    
  
It was one thing to be jealous of a woman still with dried drool on the corner of her lips, and another to know that it was an heir to a massive conglomerate with a gorgeous face and perfect figure.   
  
“Ah, a conquest for love, how romantic,” Wheein commented, oblivious to her demise.     
  
Neither of the two women in front of her seemed to notice at all. She didn’t think she could stay any longer, so she turned to her friend, “Wheein, I’m really not feeling well. I think I should go.” She turned to the other woman and just couldn’t find an ounce of energy left for the day to add spite in her words, “It was nice to meet you, I wish I could stay and chat more.” She’ll save it for some other day.   
  
Yongsun gathered her things and left without hearing Wheein’s protest, dialed her phone and called her driver to fetch her. When she got out of the door, she let out a breath she had no idea she'd been holding and congratulated herself for making it out without bumping into anyone or anything.   
  
“Yongsun,” she heard from behind, at which she turned to see that Soo-jung had followed her outside, “I hope you don’t just run away from all your problems like this.”   
  
She really, really wished for her car to arrive right at that very moment. She was in no mood for a confrontation about her bad habits she was already aware of, “I – I don’t know what –”   
  
“Let me rephrase that. What I wanted to say was, I hope you know what you’re doing with Byulyi.” When Yongsun made no response, she continued, “I’m not scaring you off, I just,” she sighed, “I really care about her and I don’t want her to end up hurt again.”   
  
“Look, Soo-jung, we’re just friends. We work together, that’s it.”   
  
“Then make up your mind if that’s all you really want from her. Tell her now before you get her hopes up and just end up breaking her heart.”   
  
It wasn’t nonsense, and her silence told the woman that she got the message across. She went back inside the restaurant with an apologetic smile while Yongsun was left there aghast, unable to speak.    
  
The truth, as everyone kept on saying, indeed hurt. Especially if the truth was hurdled right at your face with no warning.

 

* * *

  
  
Following each other on all social networking sites, as it turned out, was not the best idea. Yongsun found herself 235 posts deep into the girl’s Instagram account, but it wasn’t stalking, as she would tell herself, she just wanted to see more of Daebakie. She has a weakness for cute animals after all.    
  
After hours of scrolling and ‘not’ stalking, she tossed the phone on the bed and gave up. Seeing all her pictures did not help sort her thoughts and feelings at all.    
  
Sure, she has been attracted to women before, but never like… this, whatever it was that she has been feeling every time she’s with her.    
  
And how when she’s without her, all she can seem to think of was the next time she would be. 

 

* * *

  
Yongsun has been avoiding her the whole day, Byulyi was sure. Every time their eyes meet, she would smile faintly and then immediately turn away. Something was not quite right with their character’s dynamics too. The director noted it multiple times. Yongsun doesn’t talk to her about it after takes. Instead, she’d go directly to her team and have her make-up done again. And she can’t exactly approach her, as she looked like she would murder anyone within the five-meter radius.   
  
She wouldn’t mind hell at this point with how difficult things had been going. The actress’ scenes with others have been good, her solo scenes were even commended by the staff, but when it came to their scenes together, it’s like she can’t even stand being in the same room with Byulyi and it was painfully obvious.   
  
The staff called it a day after numerous takes. She followed Yongsun to her trailer without thinking twice.    
  
“I don’t get it. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something to upset you?” she said as she stopped the door from completely closing and then entered the room until she was right behind her. It’s the first time for Yongsun to hear her almost resigned and exhausted. When she turned around, she could feel a visible crack on her cold exterior, her resolve began to slowly disappear.    
  
“It’s not your fault, it's just me,” she hated how it sounded like a cheesy break-up when there’s nothing to even break up in the first place. “I’m just a little distracted lately.”   
  
Yongsun walked towards the mini fridge and took a bottle of water. “I met Jung Soo-jung the other day, by the way.”   
  
There were a short silence and a sigh far behind her, but the girl had no reply.    
  
“She didn’t ask me to stay away from her ex or anything, which, big surprise, appears to be you,” Yongsun was rambling. She can’t stay still when she’s nervous, so she busied herself with wiping away dust on the top of the appliance, “She just wanted to know what you are to me. Actually, you know what, I get that it’s not my business, forget that I even brought this up.”   
  
Yongsun turned around, lifted her head up, and found Byulyi gazing back at her. It was hypnotizing. How crazy was she to even think that she had the power to resist this?  
  
She nervously downed the bottle of water and played with screwing and unscrewing the cap. Seriously, what the hell, “Okay, the silence is driving me crazy, say something.”  
  
“Well, she had a point. What am I to you?”   
  
Not that, anything but that. Yongsun felt cornered. If she knew the answer, she would have said so already. Or perhaps, she did know–had known since the beginning, and was just too afraid to say it out loud.   
  
“I don’t… I’m not sure, I mean, we’ve only just met…”   
  
“I’ve seen you drunk and I’ve heard you snoring.”   
  
“I don’t snore.”   
  
“You do.”   
  
“There’s a ‘but’ to what I was saying if only you'd be a bit patient.”   
  
“Okay, go on.”   
  
“But… I can’t stop thinking about you. And you make me feel all these weird things…”   
  
“What things?”   
  
“Byulyi, I swear to god, will you ever let me finish what I’m saying?”   
  
“You asked me to say something!” she emphasized.   
  
“And I immediately regret it! You are so… aaagh!” Yongsun was so annoyed at their banter, “Will you just….”   
  
She hurriedly removed the distance between them, lifted her arms and softly touched the girl’s neck, held her for an infinite moment where she thought everything just felt right and pulled her closer when she lost the last ounce of patience she’d been desperately holding onto.    
  
It wasn’t forceful like she feared it might be. But it’s almost too… scary for her, she doesn’t understand why she's feeling so nervous when she’d done this plenty of times before.    
  
She can’t stop herself from thinking how she could easily get used to this; the way the expanse of skin that touched hers were soft and warm, the way they hover around each other too close yet not close enough.    
  
It was beginning to feel too much until their lips finally met and everything else didn’t matter anymore. Soft lips brushed against each other for a split second, enough pause for either of them to pull back, but neither did.    
  
And then everything clashed.    
  
All reservations were gone.    
  
All that mattered was the kiss and its urgency.    
  
She felt firm, slender hands roaming around the clothed skin, settling on her waist and pulling their bodies closer together. The kiss was slow, languid,  and deep; not the kind that will end with messy hairs, but the kind that left burning touches on the skin here and there.    
  
The room was beginning to feel hotter by the second, but she couldn’t stop. She had always thought to describe kisses as seeing fireworks were cliché, but screw that. This was it. There’s a war in her chest and yet she’s hearing Frank Liszt playing Liebestraum so perfectly in the background.   
  
She had to pull away then, afraid of what she’ll do if she didn’t.    
  
“Wow,” the younger woman silently let out.    
  
Yongsun rolled her eyes, she had to bite her lip to stifle a laugh. “Seriously? Wow? Now you’re just asking me to shut you up again before you say something stupid like ‘thank you’.”   
  
She could hear and feel the girl’s heavy breathing through a short laugh. She looked at her glossy eyes, but her gaze didn’t stay too long there because she just might give in to the urge of really kissing her again. Her vision darted down to plump lips, touched it with her fingers and softly grazed down to her chin, to her smooth neck, and then rested on her sharp collarbones where she let her fingers dance, scribbling incoherent nothings.    
  
Byulyi pretended to be shocked and offended, “okay, that’s odd…. something I might actually say. Now I think you really need to kiss me again or I might just actually ruin this.”   
  
The older woman playfully punched her shoulders and shoved her away, but Byulyi wasn’t letting her loose as they both just smiled. Holding each other close and looking at each other’s eyes felt enough at the moment, safe, comfortable. No words, no anything.    
  
She wished the feeling can stay forever, just like how everyone always hoped any good feeling would.    
  
The moment, however, only stayed for a handful of seconds. A soft knock on the door separated them. They looked at each other with wide eyes. Honestly, if anyone saw them right now, they would know that they’ve been doing something inappropriate, with their swollen lips and heavily flushed cheeks. Even the heaviness in the air was palpable.    
  
“Who is it,” Yongsun shouted, pacing back and forth while Byulyi kept motioning her to calm down to no avail. The older woman nudged her to the corner and hid her behind the end of the couch, to which the bewildered girl complied.    
  
None of the two brains inside the room seemed to work well in panic.    
  
It was their producer. “Can I come in?”   
  
“Yeah, sure, just a second!” Yongsun grabbed her rainbow blanket and covered Byulyi with it. She was already sat uncomfortably on the floor, suffocation wasn’t exactly a thrilling addition.    
  
“Unnie…” the girl whispered in protest but then easily gave up when she was ignored by a frantic Yongsun, “unnie, your lipstick is smudged.”   
  
Yongsun turned the lights off in vain attempt to mimic darkness. It was one o’clock in the afternoon, the blinding sun outside naturally seeped through the room despite the closed blinds of the windows. Producer-nim might have to be blind if she expected him to not see shit.   
  
The woman grabbed a face mask on the way to the door and wore it quickly, throwing a thumbs up towards Byulyi’s way, who then proceeded to act as a non-living object under the blanket.    
  
“Come in,” she opened the door and let the man in. Barely. She stood just near the door, her one hand propped on the wall, blocking him from walking further inside. “Sorry, my trailer’s a mess. I was just sleeping. I’m actually not feeling well…. hence, the mask,” she pointed, "hehe hehe."  
  
“Look, I know what’s happening here, Yongsun.”   
  
Shit, she cursed at herself, it must've been the nervous laugh that gave them away.   
  
She held her breath for the longest time but still feigned ignorance to what he’s talking about. This was it. They're screwed. She’s going to have to listen to him ranting about how unbelievably reckless they were and how disrespectful it was to be hooking up with your co-actress while at work when everyone's working hard. Unprofessional. She closed her eyes and prepared herself. The gossipmongers will have a field day.    
  
“You and Byulyi are not getting along well, I get it.”    
  
“I’m sorry, what?”   
  
“It’s fine, you can be honest with me. It’s hard to work with a new actress. You’ll disagree with something sooner or later. I heard from some staff that they heard yelling here inside a while ago. I hope it doesn’t escalate to something irreparable, so I wanted to ask you to be the bigger person here. Try and guide her with the best that you can instead. She can be a good actress if you give her a chance.” He patted her on the shoulders to show sympathy.    
  
His eyes then darted to the corner of the room where he noticed the slightest movement. “Is someone else here?”   
  
“Oh,” crap, “must be Jjing Jjing.”   
  
“Why... is your dog under all that blanket? It must be so suffocating, let me just,” he walked forward in an attempt to free the poor dog, but Yongsun quickly stopped him.    
  
“She gets sick quickly, I don’t want her to catch my sickness. You can never be too sure. Dogs can get the flu, right? Don’t worry! She got her favorite stuffed toy in there, just...... humping away. I’m - I’m giving them some privacy. You know how it is.”   
  
That stopped any further attempts from the man, who instead just looked at her oddly for a long while. He didn’t push it after that. If it were any other day, Yongsun would be mildly offended at how quickly the man just accepted such a stupid excuse from her and dismissed it as normal, but right now she tried not to care.    
  
“Hey, I’ll keep your advice in mind. You know what, I might just give her a call right now.” She guided him to the door, waved her goodbye, and shut it closed before he could even add anything else.   
  
Despite the door closing, the covered woman still didn’t move an inch. Yongsun was worried she might have actually suffocated in there, so she ran and removed the fabric in a quick pull.    
  
She can’t say she didn’t expect what she saw, that was, Byulyi bowed down to the floor silently dying of laughter, “It was honestly so hard to hold my laugh, unnie. Give me a minute," she said in between tears. Yongsun pulled her up and then shoved her right back, making her stumble down onto the soft couch.    
  
The older woman had to cover her mouth to keep her shushed. “Seriously, Moon Byulyi! Didn’t you hear him? The staff can easily hear us outside so we need to keep it down right now.”  
  
“Imb sbrry,” her words muffled. She pried the hand away, smoothly entangled it with her own and held it. Slowly, she tugged Yongsun down towards her until they’re both lying down face to face on the spacious sofa. “It’s going to be fine, unnie. We’ll just have to be our normal selves while at work. No one will suspect a thing.”   
  
“Okay, just be normal. Got it.”   
  
Yongsun never once thought that being normal would be the hardest thing she'd ever have to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in celebration of 100 subscribers (in asianfanfic hehe), i decided to quickly post a new chapter
> 
> i really appreciate all the comments, they feed my soul so pls do drop some whenever you feel like it. honestly, it makes any writer feel inspired to write some more
> 
> thank you so much for still reading


	7. sunshine, gentle breeze, you and i

# 7

 

She woke up with a stupid smile on her face. It was weird, everything just felt weird the moment she opened her eyes. Almost like... she's happy.

She'd never thought waking up to good morning texts was something she'd ever look forward to. But damn it, she does. She loved every single one that Byulyi had sent her on the daily basis. Consistently. Almost to the point that it was annoying.

But who was she to complain when she gets to see such a cute face, really? Bare-faced and obviously having just woken up. Sometimes Daebakie would be in the picture, too.  And she relished the fact that it's all just for her to see and no one else.

It was 2:42am. She had a schedule half an hour away. She fought the disappointment when she found no notification for a new message on her screen. Why would Byulyi even be awake at such hours, anyway? So she quickly dismissed that thought and proceeded to take a shower with a light spring on her steps. She decided to wash her hair today.

It really was weird.

It has been a week since the kiss and their decision to pretend that everything was normal at work. No one has been suspicious of them yet. Top-notch acting.

"I love my job these days," the driver inside a waiting vehicle in front of Yongsun's apartment building said as he reclined his seat. "I get more free time in the afternoon since Yongsun had been going home with Miss Moon instead."

"I know," Yongsun's personal assistant agreed, "she's also been weirdly ... jolly all the time. And she just usually stay inside her trailer in between takes so it's not so hard for me to follow her around."

"Yeah, she's been busy with finishing that game in her phone. She showed me yesterday."

"Are you sure that's all?"

"I don't see any other reason why."

"What if she just.... like, snapped from all the stress? I mean, look," she pointed outside the windows where Yongsun had appeared from afar. "No one could possibly be _tha_ t happy at 3 o'clock in the morning and still be sane."

Kim Yongsun felt like she was wearing a pair of brand new eyes with a whole new look at the world like it's the first time she'd seen it. She could swear they changed every light bulb on the ceiling with something brighter because even the lights shone differently, all the colors were more vivid and warm.

It felt like sleep deprivation, but better.

She doesn't know what exactly she was smiling for. The sun had not yet risen outside. The plants along the perimeter of the building were still enveloped in mist and dew.

She admired the greenery, humming a tune and swinging her arms as she walked. One day she'll ask for some of these and plant them inside her apartment, now concerned about her carbon footprint after Byulyi read her an article about it last night.

The whole landscape looked pretty to her. She didn't think she's noticed all these before so she took her time to appreciate them now. Along the path towards the street where she saw her company car were rows of hydrangeas, lavender, and daisies of different colors. She loved the pastel hues.

She stopped midway just when the car door opened and backtracked on her steps. She had her head tilted slightly to the side and her face scrunched up in confusion. Turning to the garden again, she thought she saw something familiar.

A white daisy.

In fact, white daisies scattered throughout the landscape.

No doubt this was where Byulyi got that quaint single flower still in the vase of her room. She can't stop her smile from imagining the girl picking one up in impulse. It's probably a bad choice to pluck it with no permission, though. She reminded herself to talk to her about it later.

Truth be told, Yongsun never had a preference when it came to flowers. Now, this daisy has a chance of being her most favorite one yet.

 

* * *

 

"Ya, Moon Byulyi. Where are you, anyway?"

She was feeling lonely today on set. Byulyi had no schedule for a scene so she's naturally not around, although she had repeatedly expressed wanting to visit the set since they started video chatting.

Yongsun was sulking inside her trailer, and Byulyi looked like she was at some fancy office somewhere. The younger woman's twirling around on an office chair like a kid.

She looked reluctant to answer, "I'm at Jung Company."

Oh.

Yongsun recognized it. From the name itself, it was probably where Jung Soo-jung's working. And it's Jung Soo-jung's office that she was currently at.

"Why?" She tried to hide her disdain at the thought of the two being together in the same room again. "How much are they offering you to betray your agency like this?"

Byulyi laughed, "It's nothing like that. I just had a favor to ask her."

"Uhuh, okay."

A few heartbeats of silence passed and it was painfully obvious that she 'looked jealous', but of course she was not; a topic of denial for some other time. "Yongsun-ssi," the younger woman's voice was cooing and teasing.

"What?" She hated that she sounded annoyed when Byulyi was not even doing anything wrong.

"Are you jealous?" Now she's just teasing her, a hint of mischievousness on her smirk. Damn it. Yongsun was so easy to read, and she wasn't supposed to be.

Ignore her. Change the topic. "You know, I found the strangest thing in front of the building today. WHITE DAISIES, just everywhere. Care to explain that?"

Byulyi found it extremely hilarious, but quickly fixed herself and said with all the seriousness she could muster, "Yongsun-ssi. Where else did you expect me to get one? It was two o'clock in the morning."

"And you even plucked it! You know flowers die when plucked, right?"

"Oh, now it's about killing flowers."

"You could've just unrooted it and planted it on a pot. That way it'd still be alive."

"Wait, it's dead?"

"No. What. Not yet, but it's dying, Byulyi. That's what happens when you remove it... from the soil."

Byulyi can't believe the conversation they're having, all because Yongsun can't face her feelings head-on. She let it pass this time, just like all the other conversations they had when it came close to putting a name on their ambiguous relationship, that instead always ends with an 'I don't know' and a kiss on the lips to make for a perfect distraction. She take what she can get, she's in no rush, anyway.

Regretfully, she had to end the call with a promise of dropping by her place later when Soo-jung arrived.

"So I take it, it ended well after all?"

"Huh?"

Soo-jung took her seat in front of the wide table. Her office was spacious, as expected from the heir of the company, but not quite what she expected from Krystal. It was too meek. Tamed. Quiet. "You and Kim Yongsun."

Byulyi thought hard about her options to either telling the truth or lying, but the woman cut her off immediately when she sensed her hesitation, "I get it, you don't want to tell me. We own half of the broadcasting stations in South Korea, why feed yourselves to the wolves? Just know I'm not a journalist. I'm supposedly your friend."

"I know." And they left it at that.

After an hour of discussion, Byulyi exited the building with Soo-jung escorting her out.

"Thanks for the help."

"Honestly, I don't know what you're planning, Byul, but please don't make the same mistakes that I did," Soo-jung said as the woman was about to enter her car.

Byul stopped and turned around, and then pulled her for a hug. Soo-jung didn't think too much into it. They're at least friends now and that's something.

"Maybe they weren't mistakes. Maybe you did the right thing." Byulyi smiled as she put back the distance between them, and left with a wave goodbye.

Why does their every encounter end with one heart shattered? Why does it always have to be hers?

"Idiot."

_If they weren't, then why do they still haunt me every goddamn time?_

 

* * *

 

It was already late noon when her scenes were almost done. She was down to her last one with the main character that Lee Changsub was playing when a sudden commotion in the main door of the building caught her attention.

"A delivery for Miss Kim Yongsun," she faintly heard from a man, stuck in the middle of the small crowd that had already formed around him. She left her seat and strutted curiously towards them. It wasn't unusual to get deliveries from fans especially when they know that she's out filming, but she wondered why the staff was so interested in this one.

Of course.

It was food.

Lots of it. "This is great! I've been craving for some tteokbokkie," she heard from someone. As she announced her arrival, they parted to make space and presented her a table full of food. Mostly her favorites.

"What is this," she asked Hee-yeon, her assistant, who was about to take a bite on the food already on her plate, "which fansite sponsored all these?"

"It didn't say," her assistant shrugged and resumed eating.

That was odd, they'd usually leave a letter of well-wishes for her too, indicating who it was from at the end.

Not even a few minutes have passed and someone was knocking again on the door, declaring another delivery. Although, this time it wasn't food.

She took the liberty to receive it herself, signed on the paper clipboard, and waited for the item. "Should we place it all here," the man asked, to which Yongsun just dumbfoundedly agreed. All? Just what was it?

Immediately, the man came back carrying a large pot of orange orchids. The plant was almost half her height. He was followed by a few others carrying baskets and pots on their arms; pale pink peonies, white lilies, red azaleas.

She only thought of one person.

The staff now gathered around the flowers, appreciating their beauty, colors, and variety. She could hear some speculating of a secret admirer since no memos were left on any of it. Eric Nam's name came up at least once.

"I wish my boyfriend does something like this," Hee-yeon exclaimed, quickly rebutted by a guy from the production team.

"Don't you get like flower bouquets and chocolates all the time?"

"Yeah, but those wilt in just a few days and you throw them away. These are better. They don't die if you tend to them every day, somehow like a representation of your love for each other."

She didn't mean to eavesdrop on the conversation but found herself  instinctively agreeing, "Exactly! Someone gets it."

They both looked at her in surprise. Either from the fact that she butted in or that she admitted it was from someone she knew.

"Isn't it almost one year since your first album was launched? Maybe the fans are celebrating that." Her manager said, saving her from any more suspicion. "You'd tell me if it's from someone, right?" She whispered to Yongsun who just nodded when the crowd had dispersed and returned to their own stations after earning hard, cold stares from their boss.

"Excuse me for a second." She left them and went to a secluded area, took her phone out and hurriedly typed a message.

 

 

> where are you?  
>  4:12 pm
> 
> Am I still in trouble?  
>  4:12 pm
> 
> Did you like the food? ;)  
>  4:12 pm
> 
> it depends  
>  answer my question  
>  4:13 pm
> 
> i haven't eaten anything yet  
>  4:14 pm
> 
> WHY  
>  4:14 pm
> 
> I CHOSE ALL YOUR FAVORITES  
>  4:15 pm
> 
> not all  
>  ur not here :(  
>  4:17 pm
> 
>  

The amount of courage it took Yongsun to send that last message was so much more than she expected.

Byulyi was flustered at the message she had just read. They weren't at that stage.. yet. She probably meant it in a different way, like how she missed her presence on set and not the way she's inappropriately thinking.

 

 

> Eat your meal. I'll wait for you at home  
>  *your home  
>  4:25 pm

 

Yongsun smiled at the thought of simply calling it 'home' and just how natural it sounded.

Byulyi doesn't stay the night, although it always felt like the logical thing to do. Her own apartment was just two floors away, anyway, she'd convince herself. And she'd like to think of it as their way of setting the pace, respecting private spaces, and treading lightly around each other's safety bubbles. She doesn't ask, and Yongsun doesn't stop her either whenever she'd say goodnight and then go.

 

 

> thank you  
>  for all these  
>  **Attachment: 1 image**
> 
>  5:01 pm
> 
> the flowers are perfect  
>  5:22 pm
> 
> although, pain in the ass to bring home
> 
> heechul-oppa kept complaining why it wasn't delivered to my unit in the first place  
>  5:41 pm
> 
>  

When she was satisfied after numerous times of arranging and rearranging everything, she took a step back and looked at her work. The flowers looked perfect in the balcony with the sky painted orange by the setting sun, making the moment even more beautiful. She wished Byulyi was there to see it.

The disappointment was gone the minute she felt hands delicately resting on her waist, and a warm body pressed against her back, hugging her. Yongsun almost retaliated in instinct, she knew some karate and pilates, although the latter might not be a great help, until she caught her familiar scent and relaxed instantly.

It was easily something she could get used to.

Yongsun turned around to see the smile she had missed the whole day, still enwrapped in Byulyi's arms. She's embarrassed at how clingy and needy she must've been the whole day.

"Happy anniversary to Miss Kim Yongsun's first album," she said.

"What, you're a fan now?"

"I am. I told you I always have been. I've listened to your songs a lot during that..... rough break-up. A great actress who also have an angelic voice. Just what can't you do, Miss Kim?"

She was blushing. No, she was swooning. Yongsun could feel her heartbeat speeding up tenfold by the seconds. This woman holding her have such a way with words, anyone would.

"I have plenty of things that I can't do, don't think so highly of me," she confessed quietly.

Byulyi caressed her neck with one hand, the other still clinging onto her waist, as her eyes scanned the expanse of her face like she's memorizing everything.

Yongsun didn't feel like she deserved to be looked at with such... feelings, so she broke the unnerving silence, "Do you think if I was just a singer, that it would be easier to do this?"

The woman cradling her took a few moments before she looked away and spoke, "Wouldn't we be hiding just the same?"

She knew she was right, but it didn't make it hurt any less. They both knew that there's a lot to take into consideration, a lot at stake. Her frustrations became apparent, but Byulyi promptly gave her assurance, "Yongsun, I'm not asking you to risk everything for me. Because I'm here either way."

Where does she get all the courage to say those?

"You barely even know me, Byulyi."

"You're right." The woman loosened her hold slowly and took a step back. Yongsun messed up, why does she complicate even the simplest things? "What I do know.... is that you like white daisies so much, so I got these."

She pointed at the rectangular pot full of white daisies on the kitchen counter.

"I had to pick this up from a different shop. It would take too long for the delivery. And I initially thought of giving you a hydroponic plant, you know, the ones without any soil, just to prove the fact that plants don't need soil to live, Yongsun-ssi. But that would be too much work to maintain so I just got you these, less chance of you killing it. Just sprinkle some water every day and...."

Yongsun couldn't take her eyes away from the rambling woman, although she understood nothing that was coming out of her mouth. The urgent thought of kissing her senseless occupied most of her mind.

"....that's it. You're not listening at all, are you?"

"No."

The older woman nudged her softly until Byulyi was pressed against the kitchen aisle and kissed her. There were the roughness and the rush of the moment. The need to touch skin, every expanse of softness she could find. She was aimlessly clutching on clothing and then thinking of wanting them off.

In a swift move, Byulyi reversed their positions and lifted Yongsun onto the countertop. Yongsun had her arms draped over her shoulders while Byulyi's hands were stroking on her clothed thighs. The kiss was unending despite the imminent need for air. Byulyi would just move away to kiss her exposed neck, back up to her jaw, and then again on the mouth. There was no time for breathing, just.... _this_. Tongue, teeth, soft nibbles on lips.

Yongsun pulled herself away, much to Byulyi's dismay. She was about to protest when she was quickly rewarded by the sight of the woman removing her favorite shirt off, letting it drop on the floor, and exposing her upper body only clad with a black lace bralette.

The kiss that returned was slower this time. Every brush of her hands on bare skin was unbearable. Hands were tangled on her hair, deepening the kiss. It was push and pull to the point of discomfort until Yongsun couldn't take it anymore.

"Byul... bed. Now."

She didn't hesitated a second and proceeded to carry the woman who let out a surprised moan. She thanked the heavens that she was strong enough to carry her because her knees felt like jelly at the moment. She didn't think she could even walk there herself.

She laid Yongsun down carefully on the bed, almost too perfect that it made Yongsun wonder if she'd done this plenty of times before. To stop herself from thinking too much, she pulled her again for a kiss. Byulyi hovered above her and settled herself in between her legs. Her hips moved on its own and pushed down just where Yongsun needed it most, making her moan and clutch onto her tightly.

They were still wearing too many clothes in Yongsun's opinion, so she took the initiative and began unbuttoning Byulyi's top with her flimsy hands. The younger woman spoke in between kisses, "Just to clear some things, I did not do all those to get into your pants today." That earned her a hard look from Yongsun who stopped her movements, quickly followed by a confused smile that turned into hysterical laughter. "Not that I'm complaining of where this is going..."

"Oh, god, Byulyi. You say all the perfect words one moment and then the worst," she pulled her down and hugged her until they were both laid down on their sides, facing one another. "You are so adorable, my moon."

"I just ruined the mood, didn't I?" Byulyi said, her hands toying with the pockets of Yongsun's jeans that she was still wearing.

"Probably," she let her fingers roam around Byulyi's side, to her firm abdomen, and then slowly crawled through the valley of her breasts to play with the strap of her brassiere. "Now... I want to have a hot bath. You're free to watch."

Yongsun smirked and gave her one last kiss before she left the bed and walked enticingly towards the bathroom. With the door left wide open, Byulyi had a clear view of what she was doing inside. She heard the water filling in the tub and then saw Yongsun standing in front of the wide frameless wall mirror that was beginning to fog up from the humidity of the room.

She could see her looking, and as expected from the woman, Yongsun began teasing her. She leaned down and all too slowly removed all unnecessary pieces of clothing until she was fully naked. Taking her time to admire herself in front of the mirror that didn't leave too much for Byulyi's imagination.

All sense of control flew out the window right there.

Later that night as they laid on the bed, completely spent, satiated, and close to falling asleep, Yongsun asked her to stay.

And so she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> took me so long to get past this chapter, i got the story in my head but it's so hard to translate it into actual words
> 
> drop comments, criticism, suggestions, anything. they help with the writers block
> 
> if you're still reading, thank you

**Author's Note:**

> eyyyy!!! 
> 
> my first moonsun fic <3 will post three chapters in one go and see where that leads me. comments are greatly appreciated!


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